my old favorite pants

so i put on my old favorite jeans, you know, the ones that fit just right, and make you feel skinny, and you could live in them if need be.

you know where this is going

yeah.
so they didn't fit.

so I was thinking on the way to work about this. and about how i know how to lose the inches, and i know how to burn calories and eat right, and i've got the knowledge to do it. but i'm not doing it. and i hate it.

i need to do some time management, soul searching to see if i've got the motivation and dedication to use the knowledge. i need to change my sleeping habits, and leave my job on time, and really figure out how to best commit to myself. and i've read the magazines that talk about how you can't just lose weight or inches, or start a healthy paradigm switch if you don't have the motivation, and the willingness to make some major lifestyle changes.

but all the stuff i read about people changing their lives were uber unhealthy. they ate McD's for 2 meals a day, and ate pints of B&J for dinner and a box of donuts as a mid night snack. I don't do that.

i read about the people that go from no running to a 5 k in a month. I can run a 5 k. tomorrow. I've got this level of fitness that means that walking or running for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week ain't going to do anything for my inches. right? maybe it will.
so if someone could explain to me how to make a 30 minute run only take about 45 minutes, and look at my day, and smush it in there. that would be ideal

but if it's as important as i want it to be, wouldn't i have already done this?
if i love running so much, why do i go through such major phases of sticking to the schedule, and slacking off?

if I wanted to as much as i talk about, why don't i do it?

i'd really love some answers here... or least a hint.

i feel like i'm running from my running, instead of actually running from my house.